So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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