I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
