I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
