I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
