Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize