Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
