I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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