I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I understand Curling. That high.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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