Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize