69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize