im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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