we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thus making me awesome and them whores
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
