dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
