I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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