I feel like I'm in dance class right now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
