Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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