i don't like sucking hair
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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