i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
