wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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