tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
