Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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