wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
