FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
