I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
