scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
