So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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