areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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