Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
