well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
