I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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