So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
