um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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