Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
