her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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