Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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