At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
