A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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