I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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