Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Two words: blizzard sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
