I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
