Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize