girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
