I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
