ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
