i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
