You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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