can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
