Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
