never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
