youre lurking in front of me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
