We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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