i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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