I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
