shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
