Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
