Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
MIDGETS
????
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
