I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
