Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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