can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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