And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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