like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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