Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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