But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
